Thursday, November 30, 2006

It Can't be December Yet

I have a small request. Let's delay December this year. Just a few months. Just long enough for me to catch up with everyone else. Everyone who has started Christmas shopping, paid their property taxes, car insurance and college tuition bills. Give me a chance to get my checkbook out of the red - as festive as that crimson spiral is, to me it is more like spilled blood than holiday lights.

Give me a few weeks to find out what is wrong with the smoke alarms in my house, why they keep going off for no reason. I need to call an electrician - but I can't afford it right now. I need a few days to convince my home insurance carrier that cancelling my policy really isn't necessary. I need to get an oil change before I void the warranty of my car, and my son has been driving on a donut tire for way too long.

All I'm asking for is a month, a few weeks, a couple of days. December cannot start yet. I'm not ready.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Thoughts on Family Gatherings and Emotionally Disturbed Dogs

My oldest daughter is here for the Thanksgiving weekend, and yesterday she joined her younger brother and sister as they made their "children of divorce" round of visits. At the end of the day, the all ended up with me at my sister's house - a scene that warms our hearts, all of our kids, eight cousins together in one place.

Laughing.
Joking.
Telling the legendary family stories.
and of course, overeating.

This morning, we reminisced about our family holidays after watching a piece on the Today Show about family feuds that come to a boil at the holidays. My daughter looked at me and said, "but we aren't like that."

No, we aren't. And it isn't because there hasn't been our share of trauma and disagreements. It's just that, after losing our parents in 1988, my sisters and have made a silent and solemn agreement that we would do our best to stick together and raise our children to be close with each other. So far, we've been lucky to spend many many pleasant holidays together. And for that, I am truly thankful.

Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not dealing with someone's emotional trauma this Thanksgiving. Only this trauma involves a pair of dogs - mine and my daughter's.

My dog, Zelda, has had her adventures, fears and phobias well documented here. Most recently I've been trying to reduce her aggressiveness toward other animals, squirrels, cats and dogs. I haven't been very successful.

My daughter recently adopted a dog who has his own set of phobias - darkness, noises and being left alone. Why my daughter and I ever thought these two emotionally unstable dogs would get along is beyond me.

Needless to say, their first meeting quickly turned into a snarling barkfest. We were stumped as to how these two dogs could spend a weekend together. The only thing we could do was keep them apart - no small feat in my tiny house.

Zelda spent last night at the end of her leash, at the foot of my bed, with the door barricaded. Today, we used some baby gates to create a kind of DMZ between the dogs, and because Zelda could vault this obstacle with no problem, she was also restrained with leashes. Barkfests were broken up with the dreaded water bottle - a spray of water in the snout goes a long way toward distracting a barking dog.

Then, my daughter and I got the idea to take the dogs for a walk. We figured that we would probably have to walk on opposite sides of the street, maybe opposite sides of the town, but amazingly, the two dogs walked side by side like old pals. They both shied away from cars, got distracted by squirrels and trotted like showdogs in the ring.

We thought it was a breakthrough - maybe in sharing their fear of noise, distraction and the outside world, they had bonded. We brought them back in the house together convince they would now be buddies.

Right now, my daughter's dog is spending time in solitary confinement in my bedroom, where Zelda spent the afternoon after the walk. The minute we got in the door, the dogs went after each other like mortal enemies. So, they each have to take turns in solitary, while the other dog gets the run of the house. In a few hours I'll switch them, making sure that each one is on either side of the babygate DMZ when I make the switch.

Yes, these family gatherings at the holidays are stressful indeed.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

All This for a Video Game?

Starting with Pong and Atari, video games have been occupying a place in my living room entertainment cabinet for just about 30 years. I remember spending nights playing "Breakout" with friends until the sun came up - and becoming seriously addicted to "Tetris."

My children were born into the world of Zelda and Mario Brothers, and by the time they graduated high school they knew about all the violence in "Grand Theft Auto." Today, my son, at 21, is in college studying game design. He has discovered "The World of Warcraft" and we both watched the South Park episode that satirized that game.

So, you might say, we are a savvy family when it comes to video games and video game systems. You might think that we were sleeping in a tent overnight at a local store, salivating over the new PS3 system, but no, we weren't. It is ridiculously expensive, and artificially in short supply- a marketing technique that goes back to the first iteration of Cabbage Patch Dolls in 1982.

Yesterday, I saw two young men walking around the parking lot of a local shopping center with a sign, "PS3 - $1400!" I'm scared that they may have actually gotten someone to pay that price.

How sad is it that we will trample each other, even shoot each other over these consumer goods. How obscene is it that we will pay $600 and up for the privilege? Maybe it is because I have seen these systems come and go, seen the prices plummet, and spent time with my kids trading in games for pennies on the dollar that I just don't get all the excitement and hype over this one. Six months from now we will probably be able to buy as many as we want for half the price.

Friday, November 10, 2006

HOO RAH

I am currently in Colorado on business, but that did not stop me from watching the Scarlet Knights' incredible victory last night. Part of the time, I was watching it on a huge 60 inch HD screen at a Circuit City across the road from my hotel. Not many of the Colorado shoppers shared my enthusiasm and I scurried back to my hotel room before the real screaming began in the 4th quarter. And here's a note to all the professors today: be kind to your students today- they probably didn't sleep all night!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Being a Big Mouth about Big Foot Could be a Big Mistake

I've always thought that today's scientist could study and report on just about anything, and someone, somewhere will fund it. Apparently, that doesn't also mean that the scientist can keep his job if he ends up researching something that Academia considers frivolous. Think back to the opening scenes of "Ghostbusters." Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), who has a professorship at a university, is conducting ESP tests. Guess the correct card and you get a smile. Guess it wrong, and you get an electrical shock. The punchline is that one subject, a beautiful young woman, keeps getting all the answers "right" and the young man next to her is getting them all wrong. That is because Venkman is flirting with the girl and just shocking the guy for fun. Later on in the movie, funding cuts do threaten to put them out of work. Guess their research wasn't serious enough. You know the rest of the story. So, now in Idaho, we have a similar situation at Idaho State University where Jeffrey Meldrum is doing serious scientific study on Bigfoot, and has suggested that he has evidence to prove the legend real. He even conducted a symposium on Bigfoot at the college - an event paid for by a private donor because the University would have none of it. Now they are threatening to take his job away from him. Whether you believe in Bigfoot or not, you have to support this guy. After all, there is plenty of ridiculous research going on, remember my story about the drug that makes rats go mad for sex? Someone paid for that. And currently, fat, white mice are being given red wine extract to prove that, with the right supplement, humans can remain overweight, eat whatever they want, and remain healthy. I'd bet that the manufacturers of trans fats and a multi-nation fast food conglomerate is paying for that. So, come on, Idaho State - give the guy a break, let him study scientifically the stuff we read about in the tabloids. Learn a lesson from what happened when the mayor of New York threw the Ghostbusters in jail.

see the article: http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/idaho-professor-criticized-over-bigfoot/20061103142409990002